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How to Prevent a Child's Temper Tantrums..
 
   
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How to Prevent a Child's Temper Tantrums
 
The best way to handle a tantrum is to prevent it from happening.
Most "experts" say a tantrum is a phase that the child will grow out of, relegating it to the trash heap of things we cannot do anything about. No one really teaches you how to raise a child. You figure it out by "instinct", or reading books and nothing guarantees a specific outcome. It is complicated by the fact that a small percentage of children are born insane or addicted to drugs. Yet in most cases you talk to successful parents whose children are happy and do not throw tantrums and you will find something peculiar. They have found that tantrums occur when good communication and good control have already long gone out the window.
The primary reason children throw temper tantrums is because they are fighting for their independence, to control their own bodies, their own space and motions, and their right to own or acquire things. These are instinctive rights built into all human beings.
From the earliest moments of life, do you pick your child up and move them about without letting them know what is going on? Do you grab things from the child saying "No! That's mine!" Do you place your child in an environment where they can get hurt or break delicate things? Are the child's actions frequently interrupted without warning? Do you take the time to explaine or demonstrate to the child how the things in their every day environment work? Do you give your child an instruction, only to forget what you said and contradict yourself later, reprimand them for carrying it out or fail to recognize that it was carried out?
Raising a child takes a tremendous amount of patience, repetition and presence. You want to teach the child to be in control of him/herself so you don't have to, within the realms of safety.
A child that throws tantrums has become confused on the subject of control. The build up of frustration has reached a boiling point and finally explodes as a tantrum. Good, positive control demonstrated by the parent, communication and understanding practiced in early life will prevent the phenomena known as a tantrum.
 
 
Steps
1. Maintain daily routines. Toddlers and preschoolers need to feel
comfortable and secure, and they do not deal well with unpredictability. Keep things predictable by setting regular bedtimes and mealtimes. Hunger and sleepiness are probably the most common triggers of tantrums, and these can largely be avoided by keeping a regular schedule. Try to wean toddlers off unscheduled naps, and minimize the occurrence of extended absences from familiar surroundings.
2. Prepare Too much car time Enlarge your child for changes. Obviously, you can't keep the same routine forever. Make sure you give your child plenty of warning and explanation well in advance of significant changes, e.g., his first day of preschool, and prepare him for smaller changes, as well. For example, if you've spent the afternoon at the swimming pool, let your child know you will be leaving in 15 minutes. Soften the uncomfortable blow of abrupt changes in environment or activities by giving the child time to adjust. Also, prepare your child for difficulties before he or she tries some new activity. A child may expect to be able to take on the world, but when it comes down to it, he or she of course has trouble doing most new tasks. Explain a given activity is difficult and may require many attempts, and be patient if the child becomes frustrated.
3. Be firm. If a child senses he can sway your decisions or coerce
you with tantrums, it is reasonable for the child to use tantrums to get his way. Make sure your child knows you make the decisions, and don't change your mind in response to bad behavior.
4. Choose your battles. Before you deny a child's request, ask
yourself whether the request may indeed be reasonable. Does your son want a pre-dinner snack if dinner's running a little late? Why not give it to him? You may avoid a tantrum, and besides, he just may be really hungry. Don't try to enforce rules just for the sake of rules, but analyze the situation before you make a decision. Once you make the decision don't back down.
5. Give your child choices. Beginning in the toddler years,
children seek increasing autonomy, and if they feel as though they have no control over their lives tantrums may ensue. While you can't reasonably give young children much independence, you can offer them simple choices so they can feel more in control. For example, at breakfast, give your child a choice between oatmeal and cereal. Make sure either choice you give is acceptable to you, and avoid asking open-ended questions such as, "What would you like for breakfast?" You
may get an unreasonable answer, and then be forced to deny the child his choice.
6. Give the child plenty of attention. Children need a lot of attention, and if they don't get enough they will seek more. You've probably heard "even bad attention is better than no attention," and for children this is true. Make sure to spend plenty of time with your child and to be responsive to his or her basic needs for food, shelter, and comfort.
7. Keep tempting or off-limits items out of sight and out of reach.
If a child tends to react to a particular item, preventing related
tantrums is as easy as keeping the item out of his or her mind.
   
 
Tips
By Tearstained face after the tantrum Enlarge Tearstained face after the tantrum the age of 6, the child starts to change the external guidance system (parents) to the internal guidance system (conscience). Learning self-control is a monumental task, but as the child progresses, tantrums will become rarer and rarer.
Children need positive and negative reinforcement.
A final word, never reprimand your child when you are upset by what they did. Calm and call them afterwards, explaining the situation. If need be, let them pass judgment.
   
   
Warnings
Don't frequently rely on providing a distraction for a young child. Teach the child not to throw tantrums, and he will more quickly developing other coping mechanisms.
Don't cave in just to avoid embarrassment, which also teaches
the child to perform for a crowd. Although parents feel as though all eyes are on them, when their child acts up in public, the reality is most onlookers are saying, "Go for it," when they see parents setting reasonable limits for their child.
Never surrender to your child's temper tantrums at home. Learn to handle them at home, and you will have fewer occasions to be embarrassed in a public place.
Never hit a child, or become physically or emotionally violent in response to a tantrum. Children need a comforting presence to help them exit tantrums, and violence produces exactly the opposite effect. Most importantly, becoming violent will teach a child violence is an appropriate response to stress.
If your child begins hitting or causing damage during the tantrum, simply pick the child up in a firm, non-violent manner and place the child in their room. If the language capabilities are up to it, let the child know they can rejoin the family when they have decided to talk things out instead of throwing the tantrum. Don't tell the child to "be quiet", or "calm down" as this just represses emotion and causes unexpressed anger to build up over time. Simply separate them from others, in a safe environment, until they have decided to handle things rationally.
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